Pumps at the Park

A woman showed up at the park the other day with 4" heels on. Why would you do this? After much thought, I came up with some scenarios:

1. You went home with a guy you don't know or have only recently started seeing. Since it is too early into the relationship to keep clothes at his place you are forced to go home in what you wore the night prior. But you don't go home - you sit in his foodless apartment and pick at your nail bed while trying to make conversation. He suggests taking his dog to the park. You jump at the opportunity to be with him but have something concrete to look at and talk about. You put on the pumps, cringe due to the blisters you acquired slutty dancing to Lady GaGa and head to the park, where you break said pumps by falling when using a Chuck-It Launcher.

2. You are training to be a Chuck-It Launcher model (which does not pay but may lead to other dog toy model jobs).

3. Since you don't want to display your cheesey chick lit, you store that genre in the oven you never use. When climbing on the counter to reach the out-of-reach-on-purpose chocolate cabinet, you accidentally hit the oven on. Shortly thereafter, the kitchen is in flames. You spend so much time getting your completely unique Ikea picture off the wall that the only other item you have time to grab are the pumps. The whole place burns to the ground. Though friends and family have since stepped in to provide food, shelter and alternate shoes, you are attached to the pumps for sentimental reasons and refuse to take them off until you find a new place, at which point they will be bronzed, encased in glass and hung on the wall next to the saved Ikea piece.

4. You are a Craigslist weekend escort.

I am 80% sure #4 was the case(Chuck-It Model also quite plausible)in the pumps at the park mystery. The woman was a 20-something Latino in a revealing skirt and top; The man was a 60-something Caucasian dressed like someone trying to dress like someone who was about to board a yacht. He probably never made it to a yacht that day but I bet he did do some motorboating.