Since my teaching contract at USC has ended, I've been looking for part-time gigs to pay some bills while I finish up my Masters thesis. Searching every generic and industry-specific job search database, I came to the conclusion that my best option was to become a foot fetish model* - they only work a few hours each day and are well compensated, making up to $1,000 per four-hour night. Yes, I realize I would need to shower for another four hours thereafter to make my body, and more importantly, conscience, clean but I find that when you only have $3,000 to your name, money scrubs everything down real nicely.
But today I think I found a new opportunity. I read an interesting article about The W Hotel chain and how they recently became dog friendly. I'd actually call them more than friendly, they give your pooch a special bed with turn-down treats and will even bake them a special-occasion cake, if it happens to be their Bark Mitzvah..
In order to live up to their pampered-pet claims, they have a concierge dedicated to serving your pets every need. Armed with toys, poop bags, and maps of the dog parks and pet stores in the area, the concierge knows as much about dogs as Courtney Love does about drugs - which says a lot. I want to be the Courtney Love of dogs at the W Hotel in Westwood...what can I say, I dream big.
Do you think they'll make me dress up for this canine concierge position? I don't do well in business suits; I turn into a psycho-bitch - it is like when a superhero is made awesome by a costume, but the opposite cause I get very un-awesome. Maybe I can just wear sweatpants and a hat (my usual attire) since I'll be dealing with dogs all day. I am sending an email to The W right now and offering my services (given they approve the bum look). I'll let you know how it goes. In the mean time, I'd better get a pedicure...
*Search Craigslist for "Foot Fetish Model" - there seem to be a lot of people interested in masturbating to (and potentially on) your feet.
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This job would be perfect! If they turn you down, I will drive over there and yell at/threaten those in charge. You need a cool name for this position, Dogcierge, perhaps?
ReplyDeleteBut, if all else fails, I will totally let some dude jizz on my feet with you. Could we actually do it together? That way we won't be alone/get raped? I don't think the guys would care...think about it.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteWe have just added your latest post "New Job Idea - W Hotel Dog Concierge" to our Directory of Pets . You can check the inclusion of the post here . We are delighted to invite you to submit all your future posts to the directory and get a huge base of visitors to your website.
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